Sakigami Sao [WIP]

[sao]

[atrb=width, 450, true][atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=valign,top][atrb=style, background: #242424; -moz-border-radius: 20px 20px 20px 20px; border-radius: 20px 20px 20px 20px; padding: 10px; font-family: calibri tahoma arial;, true, btable] Sakigami Sao EVERYBODY STAND UP! General Information TODAY'S THE BEST TIME TO GET UP! ► Nicknames Void ► Gender Male ► Age 18 ► Previous Home Village Konohagakure no Sato ► Innate Affinity Doton ► Elemental Manipulation Doton, Raiton, Bakuton, Shakuton ► Leaving Military Rank Chunin ► Individual Rank [DO NOT EDIT THIS, STAFF WILL DECIDE] E, D, C, B, A, or S. BingoBook Entry BEFORE MY EYES YOU STILL DON'T STOP, SPEED HUNTER! ► Reason For Defection Killing his own family, leaving no evidence. He left the village privately as well, unnoticed. ► Crimes Committed Look here for capable crimes. Murder Defection ► Bounty Depending on your crimes, you will be given a certain bounty that can be collected by fellow shinobi. Staff will decide your bounty, so leave this section like this. ► Rank Known Chunin Mental &Physical EVERYONE IS A VICTIM TO THAT ATTRACTION, YEAH! ► Appearance Sao is a slim man of average height with tan skin and spiky, upward-styled crimson hair; aside from a tuft covering his forehead and two bangs framing his face. His eyes are slanted while his nose is flat, elf-like ears appearing from the side. His brows are very thin while a scar keeps his right eye shut. Finally, he likes to keep an earring on his left ear. Sao's outfit consists of an elaborated whitish coat with purple inner lining and cuffs, intricately decorated by silver-colored motifs, and many studs lined up the chest, the high collar and the sleeves, which have armbands seemingly made of metal around them above Sao's elbows. His lower body is rather plain in terms of clothing. He wears thin, black trousers, with brown sandals covering his overall appearance. His figure overall is perfectly proportioned. Although slim, Sao is still rather muscular underneath, still able to reveal a great image physically. ► Mental Assessment You can either write a detailed paragraph in this section, or fill out the sections below, list at least 5 things for each of. ► likes Eating Killing Blood Gore Attractive Women ► dislikes People Kindness Happiness Animals Nature ► positives Highly Intelligent (Academically) Swift on his feet Calm Strategic Psychotic (Often spills information out of his opposition) ► negatives Dumb with Street Smarts Ignorant Self-concentrated Disrespectful Threatening ► Background Information Sao, even as a newborn, was feared by his parents. In the outskirts of Konohagakure, he was abandoned. He was placed on the streets, only to be taken by some randoms. With their personality, Sao grew up to be a psychopath. As a toddler, he was injected with some sort of energy that made him seem demonic; a true devil living within his mind and soul. This was the power of the Eclipse: a beast that rests within Sao, but cannot be compared to the Tailed Beasts. Aside from this, however, Sao was trained to grow up eating people in addition to regular food. As the saying goes "One man's trash is another one's come-up", dead bodies were most often used Sao's dinner. He grew up to enjoy it as the blood devoured enhanced the beast inside him. It came to an eventual point that even his sinister parents could no longer control him, and so they somehow had to register him for the village. It was from this point that Sao had to pretend to eat properly. Within the village, at a young age, he was nurtured and taught to do normal things a human must do to survive. These were the days that remained sacrificial to the days that Sao could possibly be spending as a shinobi instead. He was taught how to cook, clean, dress himself, and most importantly, take care of himself individually. Albeit, his age nor his place of birth were ever told as he was raised on the outskirts- or to elaborate, on the streets. Sao can be remember being treated as though he had a special condition. He was indeed raised with special treatment, shinobi trying to welcome into their world ASAP. As an academy student, knowing that he was once treated specially, Sao decided to become an 'upperclassman', setting high standards for himself in every class. He worked to great extents, both in and outside of the academy. He never lived a day to hang out with friends or play. All he would do was study in addition to the routines he was once taught. However, it was worthwhile as Sao's grades turned out to be all perfect and well-done. It took about nine of these classes to become eligible towards learning jutsu. To spar without jutsu firsthand seemed easy to the Sakigami, although he often took it out-of-hand. He mistook all spars for deathmatches, and nearly killed whoever he defeated, only to be halted by his Sensei at all times. They always wondered why he was like this, until they found out about his foster family. In fact, during the night in which Sao received several warnings about his spars, he could remember peeking out his dorm window, only to notice shinobi executing his step-parents. Frankly, however, attractive women passing by redirected his direction, and so Sao developed yet another admiration. To conclude his times as an Academy Student, it was simplest to say that Sao knew his required jutsu like Kindergarten work. Unlike many students, Sao had already trained himself to use the required jutsu in a pattern, thus earning him the new title of a Genin within a short period of time. Having obtained the title of Genin, Sao took it as an opportunity to hold academics off and focus on the community instead. It was here that he met more attractive women, often seducing them, but leaving them to express their opinions elsewhere. These were his times to reveal his true colors. During these times, outside of the academy, Sao often trained himself to thoroughly use Doton techniques. His methods were simple: Learn one technique, then work on it 'till mastery. Sao can remember having this become a really easy task, realizing now how much work was to be done so he could do so. Although in a killer mood as of now, his past was much more peaceful. When he would misuse his jutsu, he would always be close to another to blame it on, having them punished for his ordeals. He found it hysterical, especially since women often giggled towards these sort of actions. It came to a point in which Sao could dance with his own techniques, greatening his focus to but a fragment of his current imagination. It was at this point that with not only his mastery in his Katon techniques, but with Ninjutsu, that Sao decided to qualify himself for the Chunin exams. First and foremost, written exams were always Sao's forte, so you can not only expect how this went, but disregard this factor as an "Official Part of the Chunin Exams", at least in Sao's perspective. During the Forest of Death, however, Sao loved the fact that he could kill, and so whoever stood in his way would always be demolished. Sao's inner beast grew as it noticed this pain greaten. Before his sinister presence, Sao could remember facing off against many, some of which were easily defeated, while the others were actually somewhat of a challenge. There came this one point, however, when Sao found himself at the ropes, and an enraging presence revealed itself in the palm of the Sakigami's hands. Yes, this would be the Doton technique. With this, at least the soon-to-be-Chunin could eliminate the grounds before the opposition as he could remember successfully making his way through the forest. Unfortunately, the rest is a blur, although Sao could remember saving someone afterwards. What a dreadful memory... Now as a Chunin, Sao found himself pulling the same, ordinary routines, seducing women with a higher class, thus attracting more, while he would begin training both his primary and secondary Element. Doton was easily a struggle for Sao. His connectivity with his surroundings would be a challenge as Sao often found himself making no progress. Not until the presence of a newcomer did Sao ever do something special with his new element, in exception to his experience at the forest. Even as an academy student, Sao could remember a little boy giving him a lesson on how to use new Elements in a much simpler manner. God bless where that boy is now, for he is probably heading down the path of glory. Having been inspired by this boy, Sao could remember immediately achieving usage in his new techniques. "YES!" Sao could remember shouting loudly, with more pride than any other point in his life as both his Fire and Earth elements had led him to great success, watching as great impacts were created in private fields. Thankfully, the village was quite wealthy at this time, and Sao was well-treated and nurtured. Soon after this roar, however... ...It was only a matter of time before the Eclipse started manipulating Sao's personality, reminding him of the former demon he used to be, and how he should live on in that image. As foolish as he was, obsessed with power, Sao accepted himself into this nature once more. The Eclipse guided him mentally to pursue criminal-like activity around Konoha. For days, Sao wandered around the village, being reminded of his parents who abandoned him on the streets. How much revenge Sao wanted to get for his sorrowful treatment- pain beyond death. Acting innocently to get information on his parents, he soon found them one day, still living on the outskirts. Sao could remember tearing their limbs apart, his satisfaction growing as more blood would shed on the ground. He eventually abandoned his now dead parents, who were torn wide open on the streets. It was then that the Chunin would have to make a back-up plan, a plan to rid his name of a villager, and live elsewhere to prevent punishment: defection. For days, he worked on manipulating his original two elements to a degree in which an Advanced Element would arise; Lava Release. In a stealthy behavior, Sao would attract guards by creating arts of explosion, proceeding to the gates as more and more people would be attracted. These were the powers of his two Kekkei Genkai: Bakuton and Shakuton. Some shinobi had to be killed in the process, but it was all worthwhile, for Sao's inner demon had returned. Living under this regained nature, Sao was able to wander through the gates unnoticed, leaving his family dead, along with a burning catastrophe in a small area of the village. His personality became wicked, his perspectives on people vanishing as their value no longer meant anything to him. Sao became psychotic, wishing to prevent happiness, and fill the world with chaos. Even still, under his present self, Sao's goals have not changed, for he lives satisfied, God only knows how life will treat him; whether or not he'll die harshly and bring hell to this world. Perhaps even a change of heart could occur, although that would not make a difference with any ordinary villager. Until then, the wickedness clouding Sao's mind grows endlessly.

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Special Abilities
EVERYBODY HANDS UP!

► Special Traits

► Physical
Sao can hear anything within a one hundred meter's distance, even through the mind, at will. After hearing several voices at once, Sao can select one and hear every single word and breath. Albeit, he cannot respond to his powers, such as interfere with conversations through mental powers, change thoughts, etc.

► Special
Sao holds a beast known as the Eclipse inside him. This beast guides him mostly into committing catastrophic activity and is mostly responsible for Sao's current human nature.

Jutsu List
IT'S THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED HERO'S COME BACK!

► Your Techniques

[--E--]
Bunshin No Jutsu - Clone Technique
Henge No Jutsu - Transformation Technique
Kawarimi No Jutsu - Body Replacement Technique
Nawanuke No Jutsu - Escape Technique
Kakuremino No Jutsu - Cloak of Invisibility Technique

[--D--]

Shunshin no Jutsu - Body Flicker Technique
Oboro Bunshin no Jutsu - Haze Clone Technique
Zankūha - Decapitating Airwaves
Kanashibari no Jutsu - Temporary Paralysis Technique
Shī Wan - C1
Shikyaku no Jutsu - Four Legs Technique
Dainamikku Entorī - Dynamic Entry

[--C--]

Shī Tsū - C2
Raiton: Bakurai - Depth Charge
Doton: Retsudo Tenshō - Tearing Earth Turning Palm
Doton: Moguragakure no Jutsu - Hiding Like a Mole Technique
Karasu Bunshin no Jutsu - Crow Clone Technique

[--B--]

Shī Surī - C3

[--A--]

[--S--]

Inventory
HOLD UP YOUR FINGERS AND COUNT DOWN!

► Weapons!

All shinobi possess these starting items at creation, higher advanced items are purchased from Item Shop with earned points. If you have the Sub-Skill Bukijutsu / Shurikenjutsu in your skill set that is D-Rank or higher, you're allowed to add either One wielded weapon OR Three Times your Starter Kit + Wire + 1 Special Throwing Weapon.

• Kunai - 10
  
• Shuriken - 12
  
• Explosive Tag - 10

skill proficiency
3-2-1
► Shinobi Traits

E-Rank
D-Rank
C-Rank
B-Rank
A-Rank
S-Rank

To explain the purpose of points, Nukenin possess a special amount of points, at the beginning, depending on ones military rank upon defection, so if you were an Genin upon defection: 7 Points, Chunin13, Jonin17, etc. all your stats are at E-Rank, you can channel one point into a single skill for a single rank up. An example would be putting 1 point in Ninjutsu, leaving only 16 points left, and Ninjutsu Skill at D-Rank instead of E-Rank. Follow this basis when upgrading your skill and you're fine. Nukenin's, dependent on their military rank upon defection, has certain restrictions. Look for other Temps for restrictions.Sub-Skill Listings, please add it to your listings.

► Skill Chakra Reserves
► Rank B
► points 3

► Skill Chakra Control
► Rank B
► points 3

► Skill Shunshin
► Rank B
► points 3

► Skill Ninjutsu
► Rank B
► points 3

► Skill Taijutsu
► Rank D
► points 1

► Skill Genjutsu
► Rank [Unlocked @ B-Rank Chakra Control]
► points

OOC Information
MAKE SOME NOISE!

Outside Info, Yo!

► Face Claim
Cobra | Fairy Tail | Sakigami Sao
► Chatango Name
N/A
► Other Characters
N/A

► Special Position Claim
Kagura's Mind's Eye

Edited Template originally designed by solfege.

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[haywire]

I know this is WIP but before you continue with this and waste too much time, please read the following threads;

Starting Jutsu Limitations
Self-Explanatory

Special Positions
Available Special Positions. To claim one of these you must have an approved Genin with one completed non-solo thread. You have "Eclipse" as your claim but this is not a Special Position on this site.

Village Rosters
If there is not an open position here, a character cannot be made.

First problem is that Lava Release is a Special Position for which there are no Konoha positions so a character (formerly) of Konoha cannot have it.

Secondly, your "Eclipse" special position is invalid, as we do not have that as a special position on this site. Please remove it from the Special Position Claims. Note that with your current description of Eclipse, it will not be approved. Sorry.

In addition, a Jōnin-level character cannot have any skills above A-Rank. Furthermore, the number of jutsu your character has does not fit our jutsu limitations.

Under Special Abilities -> Physical, the ability there ("Sao can hear anything within a mile's distance") will not be approvable.

Age cannot be unknown. Even if your character doesn't know it and nobody alive knows, you know. Please fill this in appropriately.

This is just a quick preliminary review - I thought I'd stop you before you got too far with a character that cannot be approved (former Konoha nin with Lava Release and Jōnin-level Nukenin make this unapprovable at the moment). While I was at it, I thought I may as well point out the other outstanding issues. Hope you don't mind!

PS: I just realised you kept the "-end quote-

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[sao]

Asking for a second review

[haywire]

Again, Shakuton is banned, please remove it from "Elemental Manipulation". If it isn't on our lists, it is banned. That one is even mentioned on the "Banned Special Traits" thread. Please read our information threads, they are important...

Kagura Mind's Eye is a special ability, which means you cannot have both it and Bakuton, which is also a special ability. Please remove one. Also note that Mind's Eye of the Kagura has skill requirements which are not met on this character.

Bakuton abilities do not include Deidara's Clay techniques, since this also requires his Kinjutsu, Ōkui chōkoku (Gluttony's Sculpture). This means C1, C2, etc. are unavailable.

Having Bakuton or Jiton means you cannot have any other elements. In this case, it means you cannot have Doton or Raiton.

Both your special trait abilities are denied outright, sorry. Please remove the hearing ability (under Special Abilities -> Physical) and the 'Eclipse' ability (under Special Abilities -> Special).



It is quite obvious that you have not read many of our information threads and those that you have, you have merely skimmed over. I will not review this again until I can see that you have read these threads completely and actually taken on board what they say. If you have any problems understanding anything, feel free to ask people - our members are friendly and happy to help, the staff are perhaps even more so.

Nevertheless, while we'll meet you halfway, we're not going to do all the work for you. The staff here spend a lot of time on reviews, so I'm sure you can understand our frustration when people waste our time by failing to read the site's information threads and subsequently making quite large mistakes, such as going for a character with no less than three special abilities, one of which is banned outright.

I'm a nice guy, really, just don't test my patience. I can't hold your hand and show you through the site - you need to make an effort yourself.