Hyakumandara no Jin | Personal | FIN

[Umeda Orie]

Technique Name:

Hyakumandara no Jin | Formation of One-million Snakes Silk

Technique's Label: Personal
Technique Prerequisites: Snake Contractee, Formation of Ten-thousand Snakes
Rank: S
Type: Jikuukan Ninjutsu
Elemental Nature: N/A
Hand-Seals: Hand-Seals: Boar → Monkey → Horse → Boar → Rat → Ram → Boar → Monkey → Horse → Boar → Rat → Ram → Snake
Speed of Technique: 5.5x Kunai Speed
Chakra Consumption: [(Kuchiyose Low + Kuchiyose Variable Consumption per Snake) ÷ 2] + Immense
Description:

With the knowledge imparted on Formation of Ten-thousand snakes Orie had created a jutsu that ideally makes herself into being the known snake sage she is today. By performing the hand seals and then creating the seal on the ground like one would for any summoning, the user ideally summons an indisputably immense number of snakes that appear to flow out of the user's mouth. Their numbers far greater than the parent jutsu as the snakes that are summoned leave about no room for evasion as they create more than just a wall, but perhaps better described as a sea of snakes as all are buried by these creatures. The snakes can bite the enemy with their poison fangs, making them even more deadly. This poison is capable of completely paralyzing the opponent(s), though this paralysis takes ten posts of strenuous activity to take effect. If the victim remains still the poison does not spread as fast and so it can take up to twenty posts to work as intended. Furthermore, as these are inexhaustible snakes: they can create a defensive wall, a strategic bridge, and can block any kind of attack. The snakes summoned by this technique are capable of such a feet by the silk like nature of being capable to intertwine themselves and becoming like woven silk in the style that it is done in.

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[Umeda Orie]

Bump

[unbeing]

1 The Japanese would actually be Hyakumandara no Jin. And there should be "Silk" at the end of the English name.

2 Why would this require "Snake Sage"?

3 Go look at the Consumption guidelines for Summoning Variants in the Jutsu Template thread and make the appropriate edit.

4 Er, a tiki head is summoned? The base Mandara no Jin technique summons them from the user's own mouth. So should this one methinks.

5 Add a Speed of Technique to refer to the snakes' movement speed (SoT will be added to every snake technique in the Record).

6 You mention "This poison..." without actually mentioning it before, so fix this (you skipped the introductory sentence for where the poison comes from). Just copy-paste what it says about the poison under Mandara no Jin in the Record. The whole thing. Cause you seem to have rewritten it somewhat differently here.

7 It's not in the Mandara no Jin description but the "Silk" in the name refers to the way the snakes interlock and give off the appearance of woven silk when they come together to form a defense. Just important to note that imo.

[Umeda Orie]

1 - Fixed
2 - Removed
3 - Applied
4 - Reworded
5 - Added
6 - Adjusted
7 - Added

[unbeing]

Now just edit the thread title to match the correct name.

PS You left out the word "mouth" when describing how the snakes are summoned.

EDIT! That's a little too fast for this. Lower the Speed to 5.5 and you're golden.

[Umeda Orie]

Fixed

[unbeing]

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